I Want To Be Happy (For Once)
This is just a vent zine to well, vent my feelings out to the world. Been needing to do this for a good while now.
~ Barbilou
(For the Spring Cleaning 2025 Jam)
Purchase
In order to download this zine you must purchase it at or above the minimum price of $2 USD. You will get access to the following files:
Rewards
Support this zine at or above a special price point to receive something exclusive.
Community Copies
If you want the printable versions for free, just claim a community copy.
Payments to the zine will add extra community copies here.
Comments
Log in with itch.io to leave a comment.
I'm agender too, and I feel a lot of this 100%. Sending you hugs. <3
Oh my goodness, Barbo! I totally understand so much of this, and am adjacent to a lot of it too. Please feel free to skip reading the rest of this, of course :D
You're not replaceable. You're amazing. You create wonderful stuff, you have a beautiful point of view that you're generous enough to share with the world. You're supportive and encouraging and wonderful despite the struggles.
When I was first transitioning to Beth, and for probably my first year as Beth, I felt the same way: "not woman enough." I don't get electrolysis, I don't want any gender-affirming care or surgery, I don't voice train, I don't care if I go a week or more between shaving... Whereas my friends dreamed of surgeries, got electrolysis, were great with makeup (which I don't use), they pass which I sure don't lol.
But a friend told me that there's no such thing as "enough." You define yourself. If you're agender, you're agender, no matter how "much" or how "little" it applies. There's no test that says you are or aren't. If it makes you happy, empowers you, or even just makes you feel less crappy, it's totally valid. And if you don't even think about your gender for massive stretches of time, it's still valid. When I transitioned, I thought about gender ALL THE TIME. Now it rarely enters my mind unless someone is looking at me super weird or talks about trans people. I thought for a while that meant I wasn't trans anymore, but I learned over and over that's not true.
You are a delightful person, Barbo, regardless of your gender identity or your mood. You are a blessing in my life, and I'm so happy you're a part of it 🧡
- ✨Beth